Alison knew she was risking her life by opening the bathroom door, but what choice did she have? '
I wanted him to understand he was loved by me,' she says. ' I felt if I could talk to him and show him that love, then everything would be okay. However, as soon as he saw me he shot himself. He wanted me to see him do it'
'He started banging on the bathroom door and yelling for me to come out,' Alison says. She stops talking momentarily, overcome by sobs; this is the first she has spoken in detail of that morning. 'My son was shouting through the door for him to please stop, to not hurt himself or us
. My daughter-in-law was begging for him to allow the kid out, so she wouldn't be exposed to all this. Wayne agreed and so the bathroom door opened.'
'His daughter called him an enigma and I think that's a fantastic description,' Alison says. 'It's come as a huge shock to me to realize maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought I did
. Since the Wayne I knew could never have done what he did
.' She's now studying with a trauma counselor and a life coach in hopes of becoming a public speaker, to increase awareness for suicide prevention and offer tools to the spouses of alcoholics as well as the survivors of suicide. ' I pray something good comes from this,' Alison says, 'that God will use me in a way that somebody else's life is touched. If Wayne's story can help only one person, that will be meaningful.'